The Virgin Post

Thank you for visiting my website and for wanting to learn more about Modern Love Essentials, (MLE)!

My very first blog post shares why I created MLE. In subsequent postings, I'll talk about my love and lust-life, my experience visiting a couple of sex clubs, S&M, and most importantly - going from boring and afraid to fabulously-sexy in bed - or, as it were, on the dining-room table. I'll talk about things that I love, other than sex, such as Pilates, food, tequila, and rescuing kittens.  I will use this platform to speak boldly and express myself. I've learned that standing for myself, no matter how vulnerable I may feel, is the key to truly loving myself and therefore loving another person. I will share things I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I hope you discover something new! 

Why Modern Love Essentials?

The answer to why I created MLE is simple… better sex. Sex that is fun, sexier, empowering, and just plain easier! I did it for me, really. Suddenly, I felt confident. Men were like, "Who are you?" 

A bit of background…. I’m a straight woman. I lost my virginity at 23, waiting for the right guy!  I've never been married, which for better or worse, provides me with the experience of having been intimate with a few loves and lovers, sometimes for 1 night, other times for a few years. I've had plenty of "fabulous sex," plenty of "boring sex," and once or twice sex that I didn't want. (I've pledged never to put myself in that position again.)

A few years ago, while waiting for my prince, I kept a friend/lover. (I love to quote from Sex and the City!) While we had an intellectual connection and good chemistry, I didn’t want more. One night he grabbed a jar of coconut oil from the kitchen cabinet and introduced me to using the oil for fun and games in the bedroom. Out of the jar the coconut oil was in a solid form and then melted on my body. Wow, I loved it! I loved the control. Why would I ever have sex without it? No more sticky, friction-laden hand/blow jobs. No more rough penetration because I wasn't quite "lathered up." Suddenly, I had the magic to feeling “yummy” and creating a more enjoyable experience for myself first and my partner as a result. At a later time, one man told me, "This is the best blow job I've ever had!" That's when I knew I was on to something...

I did some research and discovered that while virgin coconut oil is great for many things, it's a big NO-NO when it comes to a woman's vaj. I repeat, “No virgin coconut oil in the vagina!” Virgin coconut oil is antibacterial and anti-fungal, so there's a chance that it could disrupt a vagina's natural pH balance and cause a yeast infection. So don't use it! It also smells like coconut and that can be a turn off. 

MLE is sourced using the absolute finest processed organic coconut oil, the highest quality organic essential oils, and made in small batches by a contract manufacturer here in California. My goal is to produce a concern-free, chemical free, cruelty-free product. One day MLE will have Parve Kosher certification. 

Before going to market, I tested everything I could find on the shelves and online. The ingredients in mass market products were frightening. Did I really want to put these chemicals in/on my body? The organic products got sticky quickly. Although organic, I wasn’t interested in ingesting ingredients such as, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice, Xanthan Gum, Agar, Lactic Acid, Potassium Sorbate, and Sodium Benzoate, either! Conversely, you can put MLE in your coffee, though I don't recommend it!

Especially during the most vulnerable moments, I want to feel safe and secure. MLE enables me to express myself and to be empowered through the entire journey. The experience is effortless for me and my partner. I feel sexy during sex. Heck, I don't want to think about ingredients that I cannot spell! Saying "Fuck no," to boring sex, doesn't mean you have to compromise on your health and sanity. (Men don’t realize that women think about these things while in the midst of an orgasm!)

I knew that armed with a jar, more women could also be liberated from their boring and/or non-existent sex lives -- especially those women in long-term monogamous relationships and/or with men who don’t quite understand the meaning of foreplay (sorry guys)! It’s also perfect for quickies. And if you're everything is already peach-keen, why not mix it up? Personally, I've found variety to be sorely absent in the bedroom and women need to take back control!

That is the essence of MLE.   

The Revised Valentine's Day Post

My newly rescued kitten “enjoying” a bath in the sink!

My original Valentine’s Day blog post was supposed to be a quick list of romantic, passion-filled music. Instead, I am sharing the entire story surrounding the idea for the post. I thought it would be inspiring to share how the entire journey unfolded. The universe literally closed one chapter and opened the opportunity to save a life while making this blog post possible! Here’s the back story.

Recently, I broke up with my boyfriend after 15 months and as a result of the demise of that relationship I knew I needed to do some soul-searching, reclaim my self-respect, and take a good look at what I wanted in a relationship. Along with the tough-love my friends and family gave me, I was seeing a therapist to set myself back on the right course. I’m happy to say that I’m on the other side and much better for it.

On my drive home from one of those therapy appointments, I decided to stop into Lowe’s to pick up a few things. However, during the drive I spotted a Home Depot and aborted Lowe’s. This snap decision to modify my destination, is key to the story. I entered the Garden Center and spotted a little black kitten. I halfheartedly attempted to rescue it, but let it go because I feared it was feral. Alas, I went about my business securing the much-needed items I originally set out to purchase.

Leaving the building I saw two young men trying to coerce the same kitten with food…. And the kitten was going for it! Together we worked with the Home Depot staff to nab the kitten and put him safely into a box. I drove home with more goodies than planned. It was this kitten’s lucky day because besides my day job and selling sex lube, I’m a volunteer with Kitten Rescue of Los Angeles! (and I can cook, too!) This is when the statement, “There are no accidents in the world,” rings true!

During the drive home my thoughts were all over the place – Is the kitten feral? If he’s feral, what will I do with him? How long will it take to get him adopted? What if the kitten tests positive for FIV/FELV (which is reasonable since he’s been outside)? Oh and I’m leaving for London on business in a few days - who will take care of him, especially if he’s feral?

Suddenly, I had a lot more to think about than my love-life. I brought the kitten into the bathroom and stuck him into the sink for a nice warm bath. I was very relived that the kitten was not feral. He was just the opposite. He ate like a horse and slept in my arms purring loudly. Not only was the kitten purring, but he asserted himself into my lap at every opportunity. Given his life on the street, I was very surprised by this tame behavior.  I went back to Home Depot to search for siblings and asked around to be sure he didn’t have a family looking for him.

Kitten Rescue made a vet appointment for neutering, testing, micro-chip insertion, etc. I was thrilled that the test results for FIV/FELV were negative! He was now ready for adoption!

That night, I heard about an adopter who recently lost his kitten to the dreaded, incurable FIP virus. I suggested that the adopter might be interested in my little boy. He was!

A side note, one of the things I adored about my recent relationship were the friends I made within the South African community. They often hosted a small, intimate, delicious tea on Sunday afternoon. Each gathering had something new to share, to learn, and lovely new people to meet. I miss the community and their gatherings more than the boyfriend!

In my typical can-do style, I decided to make Sunday Afternoon Tea my own with my amazing community of friends and family. I invited the potential adopter to join us for non-South African tea and to meet my foster kitten.

Little did I know that the potential adopter is a famous EDM DJ and composer, TyDi. He has over 200,000 followers on Instagram! This is Los Angeles after all! In the past, I adopted to Hollywood types and my family is in The Business, so I was not entirely phased. It just makes things a bit more interesting. So TyDi, or Tyson – his given name – came over to join us for tea. Err… we drank tea and he drank me out of my entire stash of tequila. He was enjoying his Sunday afternoon, taking a break from writing a song for Disney and the music for a commercial to be released during the Oscars.

Tyson fell in love and the kitten, now named Guinness, is adopted! If you follow TyDi on Instagram, you’ll see them together. You’ll also see TyDi’s work and how he donates his time to Make A Wish, etc. He’s a good guy! On Modern Love’s Instagram, you can see a snip-it of our conversation.

While we were enjoying our tea/tequila, and I had a connoisseur of music in the room, I asked Tyson for his list of Top Songs to Make Love To for a potential Valentine’s Day Blog Posting … Finally…. here is the list:

1.       Ludovico Einaudi: “Experience,” “Fly,” “Divenire”

2.       Ólafur Arnalds: “Brot”

3.       Rhye: “Open”

I was surprised that the DJ/EDM composer recommend such “sweet” music. But in getting to know Tyson and seeing his dedication and love for Guinness, it makes sense. Next time I’ll ask him for his not so-vanilla recommendations!

The universe has a magical way of working: The relationship ended. I sought therapy to better myself. On the specific night that I went to therapy, I decided to run an errand and changed direction. At the new location, I stumbled into an area of the store where I spotted, gave up on, and then rescued an abandoned kitten. Through this kitten, I met Tyson who adopted the kitten and shared his favorite romantic music included in the above post! Most importantly, without the demise of that relationship the kitten would not be in Tyson’s care! I’m still in awe of how the whole event unfolded!

The moral of the story is… you never know where love or the “end of love” is going to lead.

Guinness and Tyson posing for TyDi’s 200,000 Instagram followers